Posts by Y I Man

105

What do you fancy right now?

by KW13 in

jw
friends

.

i really fancy a cup of tea and a cake, maybe cos i am british?

Y I Man

A double vodka would go down a treat.

Work has been a nightmare today

1

Welcome to our world

by Y I Man in

things that make blokes proud of themselves:

1. opening jars - she's struggling.

you take it from her hands, open .

Things that make blokes proud of themselves: 1. OPENING JARS - She's struggling. You take it from her hands, open
it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars
are men's work.

2. CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to
kids makes you the man.

3. DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks - camp. A Stuart
Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the
ball and crippling the man. Magic.

4. SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A
here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, I've got a knife thanks!

5. GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and
- as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other
rubbish - noisy destruction.

6. DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your
coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then
nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while
everyone else struggles to catch up with you. You're hard.

7. HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.

8. HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an
iron burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".

9. HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying
they just whinge. You on the other hand have physical evidence of your
hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it
look like.

10. NODDING AT COPPERS - A moment's eye contact is all it takes for
you to share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the
past",it says, "but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".

11. USING POWER TOOLS - Slightly more powerful than you need or can
safely handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.

12. KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stick
that Becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.

13. ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE - And everyone cheers you.
It doesn't mean you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed.
However, the rest of the pub doesn't know that.

14. NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - Fat is a feminist issue, apparently.
Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.

15. CARVING THE ROAST - And saying "are you a leg or breast man?" to
the blokes and "do you want stuffing?" to the women. Congratulations,
you are now your dad.

16. WINKING - Turns women to putty. Doesn't it?

17. TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - Ideally, B&Q would have little changing
rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY
item. Until then, we'll make do with the aisles.

18. TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - Okay, so its for paying the
plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The
only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.

19. PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - Unlike birds, we get
straight to the point. "Alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then. Seven. See ya."

20. PARALLEL PARKING - Bosh, straight in. First time.
Can Schumacher do that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear
which, technically, makes you the worlds best driver.

21. HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled
in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand
there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer
gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.

22. HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - Especially if you
didn't make a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".

23. KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "A Phillips?
For that? Are you mad?"

24. TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - A visual code that says that's
right, I'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized poo.

25. CALLING YOUR MATE A C*NT - And punching him on the shoulder. Just
a man's way of saying "you're a good mate; I missed you while you were
in hospital"

3

I'm Tired!

by Y I Man in

yes, i'm tired.

leaves 11 million to do the work.

that leaves 5 million to do the work.

Y I Man

Yes, I'm tired. For several years, I've been blaming it on age,
lack of vitamins, air pollution, saccharin, obesity,
dieting, under arm odour, yellow wax build up and another dozen maladies that
make you wonder if life is really worth living.

But I found out it isn't that. I'm tired because I am
over-worked.

The population of this country is 51 million, 21 million are retired.
That leaves 30 million to do the work. There are 19 million at school, that
leaves 11 million to do the work. 2 million are unemployed and 4 million
are employed by the Government. That leaves 5 million to do the work. One
million are in the armed forces, which leaves 4 million to do the work.
3 million are employed by the County and Borough Councils leaving 1
million to do the work. There are 620,000 people in hospital and 379,998 in
prisons,
which leaves 2 people to do the work.

You and me. And you're sitting on your arse reading this rubbish
while I'm working. No wonder I'm blooody tired.

9

Magic doesn't get much more mezmerising than this. Simply amazing!

by Y I Man in

this guy is pure quality!!.

http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/45492/.

enjoy.

Y I Man

We get quite a lot of these on the E-mails at work.

I'll post some more when I get some

Gavin

9

Magic doesn't get much more mezmerising than this. Simply amazing!

by Y I Man in

this guy is pure quality!!.

http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/45492/.

enjoy.

Y I Man

Im not sure why earthtone, Are you able to cut & paste the web address or copy it onto a new browser?

Gavin

9

Magic doesn't get much more mezmerising than this. Simply amazing!

by Y I Man in

this guy is pure quality!!.

http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/45492/.

enjoy.

Y I Man

This guy is pure quality!!

http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/45492/

Enjoy

Gavin

7

What makes 100%?

by Y I Man in

what makes 100%?

what does it mean to give more than 100%?

ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

Y I Man

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+ 14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you. A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the BullshiT and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

By the way "Beer Drinking" = 116% and gets you almost to the same level of effort as ass kissing with the advantage of having a much less harsh of a taste!

35

THE REAL REASON FAMILY MEMBERS SHUN.........................

by vitty in

jw
friends

i think the real reason family members shun their "loved ones" is not because they love you and think it will bring you back, or that they are being obedient to god, but that you have totally embarrassed them, brought the family name into disrepute and it now brings into question how spiritual they are.. if they shun you, in their minds, they think the elders, and dubs will not think less of them.

its all about what the "neighbours " think not what the bible teaches.. its about pride not love.. what do you think?.

oh and it gives them brownie points to be used at armageddon.......................just in case.. .

Y I Man

Afternoon all,

I think im quite fortunate in that I get on pretty well with my family now. It took a few years and they did shun me at first, im assuming it was to make a point in front of everyone. But now, I dont think they realy care what people think, they know i'll never go back to the meetings. They are a lot laid back now and im even going for lunch with my g/f on bank holiday Monday.

I do have a few questions for them, especially about the 1914 stuff & the scandal with the UN & WBTS that the Guardian newspaper published. I'll let you know what they say.

Gavin

22

Let's assume 607 correct.... How can they prove that lead to 1914?

by AK - Jeff in

i mean i understand the arguments they make - the calculations they lay out.

i did it for 40 years myself as a witness.

my question is a simple one - what 'proof' can the witnesses use to support the entire idea of converting a scripture about the 'gentile times', and a kings' insanity that lasted for 7 literal years into 2520 years?

Y I Man

I only joined this Forum yesterday and I never realised all this about the 607 & 1914 stuff. I did a bit of research on the net today about C T Russell, the pyramid, freemasons etc etc, and my eyes have really been opened.

I just wish I knew of this when I was going the meetings to slap it in the Elders' faces.

Gavin

19

Hi Everybody

by Y I Man in

jw
friends

ive just registered and im happy to be a part of this forum.

just to tell you a bit about myself im 27 and was brought up as a jw from birth.

my mam & dad have always been jw's & my bro & sis still are.

Y I Man

Thanks for making me feel so welcome guys.

Id love to come to one of your meetups & see you in the future

Gavin

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